i feel like singing again! bear with me peeps..

Baby you'll soon forget about all,
or maybe you'll miss it like I do.
One thing's for sure I'm on a doubt, spend too much time thinkin' of you

chorus
And I can't get you out of my dreams
Now I know that you're the dangerous kind
And your smile is tattooed on my mind
And I can't get you out of my dreams

Don't wanna write,
I don't wanna call,
I would not know what to say
It should be you
That's how I want it to be
Tell me you feel the same way

chorus
And I can't get you out of my dreams
Now know that you're a danger first kind
And your smile is tattooed on my mind
And I can't get you out of my dreams...oh!

Oh, Yesterday, I was feelin' safe, oh
All I do today is tryin' to be BRAVE
and no melody can seem to suit my mind...
and now I curse you for being so sweet and so kind

chorus
And I can't get you out of my dreams
Now I know that you're a dangerous kind
And your face is tattooed on my mind
And I can't get you out of my dreams..

Yes I know you're tattooed
On my mind you're tattooed

i lurve their songs...

"Every Little Thing"

Let me in
to see you in the morning light
to get me on and all along the tears they come
see all come
I want you to believe in life
but I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
will you find out who you are too late to change?
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
some times

lift me up
just lift me up don't make a sound
and let me hold you up before you hit the Ground
see all come
you say your all right
but I get the strangest feeling
that you've gone away- you've gone away
and will you find out who you are too late to change?

I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
some times

Don't give me up
don't give me up tonight
or soon nothing will be right at all
salvation
will you find out who you are too late to change?

I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted

is there something wrong with dating more than one guy? if you find someone nice and amusing should you lock yourself to that person right away and dont entertain others anymore? so if you are dating more than one guy and if one of them asks you if you are seeing someone, what should be your answer?

i am really stupid when it comes to these things... i dont know if i am stupid, dense or just naive. for me its either black or white, no room for gray areas. well then if one cannot avoid the gray area then might as well cross it out of your list or if your into playing games then go. i appreciate people who say what they want right away because i hate working on something blindly. i hate to think, i am tired of it. well of course words must come with actions two. but actions without words are a little bit off to me because i am the type of person who needs confirmation before going into a conclusion. even if we go out on movie dates, have dinner, lunch or whatever
or even if we kiss i would never ever assume not unless you tell me your intentions.

and so i think that for as long as one is not commited it is okay to go out with as many guys you want to. it is a woman's right assess and pick out the best.

mashed potatoes

fettucine carbonara

pasta arrabiata

steak

and a great company =)

simply perfect!

p.s. he did the cooking...

I passed the big test! And so we came to the party. Went around the place and said hi to everyone. I didn’t feel anything at the sight of him. Funny he was with his girlfriend and I didn’t feel any jealousy, hatred or whatever it is that i thought i may feel. Darling, no twitch not even a prick of a needle in my heart. I was just nervous in the car though but that was it. I didn’t get the chance to look at him analyze his hairdo nor stare at his features. I am really thankful to the Lord for everything that has happened to me. Now I can say that I am really over, it’s just that i need time to heal some more. It’s like i have this big wound that has been 90% healed and i am just waiting for the scar to dry up.

I will admit that i cried, in the car while on our way back to mara's house. i cried not because i was hurt. I cried because it was my last goodbye to everything. goodbye to the two years i spent with him, to all the good and bad things that has happened. now it will all just be a memory. i have already let go, no more ill feelings. i mean i couldn’t even criticize that girl, i couldn’t say anything bad about art. it's just that its really over. i cried also coz i was thankful for all the lessons that i have learned, for making me realize my worth. somehow if it were not for you i wouldn't be where i am right now. i have proven to be a one tough girl!

last night was great! now i know i have really moved on and that the happiness i am feeling is true. my smile and my eyes say it all. thank you to everybody who has helped me get through and so i thought i was gonna die... hahaha! so stupid of me. i never realized that life is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!! after everything i could still say i love life and though at times it shows me the bad side of it but what the hell there are a lot more nice things to it. i have got my "insane" family, great friends, loving officemates, and some guys that make me feel that i am beautiful ( u know what i mean..) :)

i guess this is it... i am looking forward to the next chapter of my life! case closed... =)

you are driving me crazy... can't help myself from talking with the friends i have in my head. gosh... you are one hell of a mind-game playah!

the day that i used to dread turns out to be an event i have long been waiting for. yes, life can be ironic sometimes. tomorrow is the big day! finally after 5 months we will get to see each other again. hah! i pretty much need this one so that i'd know where i am right now. i am so enjoying my life and i need to confirm if i really am over it. i am excited and at the same time nervous.. i have to look good, feel good and exude this radiance. well no pressure, i'll just act normal (the happy and renewed mela). i just wish i dont get too nervous that i would just be standing still and have this frozen smile. i just wonder how our first meeting will turn out... hmmmm... wish me luck!

you know how it is when you get hurt and then suddenly these iron bars automatically come out and cover you? it's like your defense for things that would come which may eventually hurt you again. i am in this stage wherein i am very cautious of things that come my way, people i meet and most especially of emotions i feel. i was kind of traumatized by a past relationship so right now i am trying my best to be careful simply because i dont want to make the same mistake again. i guess what i really want to find out right now is how will i know when i should push the off-button of this shield that i built for almost five months now? how will i know if what i am feeling is real? i am too scared to hurt myself again and also to hurt another person. there is no such thing as a perfect relationship but this time i am wishing one that is close to perfect. No more playing games, no more bullshit. Is this too much to ask for? I realized that after all i have been through i think i deserve one that wont give me much stress and headache but instead lots of care and love, the one that is worry-free. (O gosh I think I really am asking too much!) For me its all or nothing. I am not old but I am not getting any younger so enough of those silly games.
So there I have said my piece, now off to my dilemma. I couldn't tell anymore if what I am feeling right now is real or something else. I don't wanna go with the flow, it's too risky. Damn this shield is really stubborn it doesnt wanna go off! Besides, I just got out of a relationship and I dont know if 5 months are enough. It may be too soon to feel this. I am afraid that I may just be in that transition stage and this guy who I am fond of right now is just the transition guy. He's too nice too be used (by me.. haha). They say love comes when you least expect it but i don't know if i am buying that idea now. I don't wanna do things i will end up regretting. I really want the next one to be "the one". maybe i should stop thinking too hard and just feel whatever it is that i am feeling... maybe i don't have to push the off-button at all coz it will just automatically shutdown once i feel that it's real...

to all the people i flaked out on last saturday, I AM SORRY.

let's start friday night. after muay-thai training i went stright to my sister's house in qc to celebrate my dad's and my nephew's birthday. i ended up sleeping there because i was too wasted to drive myself home. i had much drinks and substances that night so the ending? total knockout. i woke up the next day 1030 am. my crazy brother had a hangover and so he thought maybe we could have A bottle of beer. and so we did, and we drank another bottle and another and another and the rest is history. 5 bottles of redhorse each plus having ourselves soaked in the rain (this is the best part, i've never done this since i was ten!), and then sleeping again... i woke up 7pm, too drunk and too late for dinner. i drove myself home and arrived at 8. still feeling buzzed i just decided not to go to anyone's party. i was way too intoxicated to mingle and socialize. i thought if i was gonna go out it would just be a chillout thingy. and besides i've had too much alcohol that i wont be able to drink and enjoy any of those parties.

again sorry i am such a flaker.. i was irresponsible last friday. hope you guys would still invite me in your parties.